"A Spot of Bother" by Mark Haddon

A dysfunctional family prepares for what looks like a catastrophic wedding in this work of comic brilliance.

George has discovered what looks like cancer on a patch of skin; he is terrified of dying. His wife, Jean, is having an affair with an ex-colleague of George's. His adult son Jamie has just been dumped by his boyfriend. George's daughter, Katie, wants to marry Ray (or does she?), but the rest of the family don't like him. Jacob, Katie's son, is a challenging infant.

The past tense third person narrative hops between the four principal adults. The plot is driven principally by George, whose response to retirement and mortality is a series of bizarre actions. It seems that hypochondria, paranoia and depression are fertile grounds for comedy and that's before he experiences the side effects of mixing medication. But the fearsomely belligerent Katie was another wonderful character, not to mention the extremes of parenting demanded by Jacob. 

I hardly ever laugh out loud but I did with this book, more than once.

It's a big book at 503 pages but it is divided into 144 chapters so I found it quick reading.

Selected quotes:

• “That was the weekend, of course, when Gareth burned the frog. How strange, looking back, that the course of an entire life should be spelled out so clearly in five minutes during one August afternoon.” (Ch 2)
• “George could do the bluff repartee about cars and sport if pressed. But it was like being a sheep in the nativity play. No amount of applause was going to make the job seem dignified.” (Ch 4)
• “Jamie wondered, sometimes, if Tony had been a dog in a previous life and not quite made the transition properly. The appetite. The energy. The lack of social graces. The obsession with smells.” (Ch 12)
• “His own preferred exits were rapid and decisive. Others might want time to bury the hatchet with estranged children and tell their wives where the stopcock was. Personally, he wanted the lights to go out with no warning and the minimum attendant mess. Dying was bad enough without having to make it easier for everyone else.” (Ch 24)
• “He was going to die. ... With blinding clarity he realized that everyone was frolicking in a summer meadow surrounded by a dark and impenetrable forest, waiting for that grim day on which they were dragged into the dark beyond the trees and individually butchered.” (Ch 24)
• “When his bus arrived he was packed into a confined space with thirty unwashed people and shaken vigorously for twenty-five minutes.” (Ch 46)
• “‘Mum said you weren't feeling very well.’ She couldn't work out where to put herself. Sitting on the bed was too intimate, standing was too medical and using the armchair would mean touching his discarded vest.” (Ch 49)
• “Which was how young people took over the world. All that fiddling with new technology. You woke up one day and realised your own skills were laughable. Woodwork. Mental arithmetic.” (Ch 51)
• “Maybe old people always fooled themselves, pretending that the world was going to hell in a handcart because it was easier than admitting they were being left behind, that the future was pulling away from the beach.”
• “The tape ended and the screen was filled with white noise.” (Ch 51)
• “It occurred to him that there were two parts to being a better person. One part was thinking about other people. the other part was not giving a toss about what other people thought.” (Ch 111)
• “As a gesture of goodwill, it being their wedding, she decided to admit that he was right. Not out loud, obviously, but by not answering back.” (Ch 142)

March 2025; 503 pages

First published in 2006 by Jonathan Cape

My paperback Vintage edition was issued in 2007.

This review was written by the author of Bally and Bro, Motherdarling  and The Kids of God