Dave's Book Blog: "Sons and Lovers" by D H Lawrence

Painted by Nottinghamshire artist Sheila Wood

An exploration of the Oedipus complex. Paul Morel, second son of his possessive mother, finds his soulmate in Miriam but his love for Mum makes it impossible for him to consider marrying the girl. Can he find love with married woman Clara?

The Oedipus complex is, perhaps, the fundamental theme of the book:

As a young boy: “Paul loved to sleep with his mother.” (Ch 4)
Paul is torn between Miriam and his mother: “After all, she [his mother] was the chief thing to him, the only supreme thing.” (Ch 8)
“And he [Paul] came back to her [his mother]. And in his soul was a feeling of the satisfaction of self-sacrifice because he was faithful to her. She loved him first; he loved her first. And yet it was not enough. His new young life, so strong and imperious, was urged towards something else. It made him mad with restlessness.” (Ch 9)
“A good many of the nicest men he knew were like himself, bound in by their own virginity, which they could not break out of. They were so sensitive to their women that they would go without them forever rather than do them a hurt, an injustice. Being the sons of mothers whose husbands had blundered rather brutally through their feminine sanctities, they were themselves too different and shy. They could easier deny themselves than incur any reproach from a woman; for a woman was like their mother, and they were full of the sense of their mother. They preferred themselves to suffer the misery of celibacy, rather than risk the other person.” (Ch 11)
“There was a good deal of his life of which necessarily he could not speak to his mother. He had a life apart from her - his sexual life. The rest she still kept. but he felt he had to conceal something from her, and it irked him. There was a certain silence between them, and he felt he had, in that silence, to defend himself against her; he felt condemned by her. Then sometimes he hated her, and pulled at her bondage. His life wanted to free itself of her. It was like a circle where life turned back on itself, and got no further. She bore him, loved him, kept him, and his love turned back in to her, so that he could not be free to go forward with his own life, really love another woman.” (Ch 13)

There are a number of religious references:

When a drunken Walter Morel throws a drawer at his wife during a domestic dispute, cutting her brow, the blood drips onto baby Paul as a sort of baptism. (Ch 2)
When Paul accidentally smashes his sister Annie's doll, he then decides to “sacrifice” her, burning her in a fire and then smashing what's left under stones. (Ch 4) Could this symbolise Paul's relationship with women?
“Paul felt crumpled up and lonely. His mother had really supported his life. He had loved her; they two had, in fact, faced the world together. Now she was gone, and forever behind him was the gap in life, the tear in the veil, through which his life seemed to drift slowly, as if he were drawn towards death.” (Ch 14) The tear in the veil is a reference to the crucifixion; as Jesus dies, according to Matthew 27.51, Mark 15.38, and Luke 23.45, the veil in the temple which shrouded the Holy of Holies - so that only the priests who were permitted could see into the inner sanctum - was ripped in two.
When Clara and Paul make love: “And after such an evening they both were very still. having known the immensity of passion. They felt small, half afraid, childish, and wondering, like Adam and Eve when they lost their Innocence and realized the magnificence of the power which drove them out of Paradise and across the great night and the great day of humanity.” (Ch 13)

There are some powerful descriptions:

“The snowflakes, suddenly arriving on the window-pane, clung there a moment like swallows, then were gone, and a drop of water was crawling down the glass. The snowflakes whirled around the corner of the house, like pigeons dashing by. Away across the valley, the little black train crawled doubtfully over the great whiteness.” (Ch 4)
“They all loved the Scargill Street house for its openness, for the great scallop of the world it had in view. On summer evenings the women would stand against the field fence, gossiping, facing the west, watching the sunset flare quickly out, till the Derbyshire Hills ridged across the crimson far away, like the black crest of a newt.” (Ch 4)
“The limbs and bowed heads of six men struggled to climb into the room, bearing the coffin that rode like sorrow on their living flesh.” (Ch 6)
“There was a great crop of cherries at the farm. the trees at the back of the house, very large and tall, hung thick with scarlet and crimson drops, under the dark leaves.” (Ch 11)

Other selected quotes:

“There was the halt, the wistfulness about the ensuing year, which is like autumn in a man's life. His wife was casting him off, half regretfully, but relentlessly; casting him off and turning now for love and life to the children. Henceforward he was more or less a husk. And he half acquiesced, as so many men do, yielding their place to their children.” (Ch 3)
“Mrs Morel ... had never expected him [Paul] to live. ... Perhaps it would have been a little relief to her if he had died. She always felt a mixture of anguish in her love for him.” (Ch 4)
“If you don't like it, alter it, and if you can't alter it, put up with it.” (Ch 6) Mrs Morel's advice to her son Arthur.
“She herself was something of the princess turned into a swine-girl, in her own imagination.” (Ch 7) An early description of Miriam:
“She wanted to show him a certain wild-rose bush she had discovered. She knew it was wonderful. And yet, till he had seen it, she felt it had not come into her soul. Only he could make it her own, immortal.” (Ch 7)
Mrs Morel “She did not care for Miriam. ‘She is one of those who will want to suck a man's soul out till he has none of his own left,’ she said to herself.” (Ch 7)
“They both were late in coming to maturity, and psychical ripeness was much behind even the physical. Miriam was exceedingly sensitive ... The slightest grossness made her recoil almost in anguish. ... But, perhaps because of the continual business of birth and of begetting which goes on upon every farm, Miriam was the more hypersensitive to the matter, and her blood was chastened almost to disgust of the faintest suggestion of such intercourse. Paul took his pitch from her, and their intimacy went on in an utterly blanched and chaste fashion. It could never be mentioned that the mare was in foal.” (Ch 7)
“A soldier! - and a common soldier! - nothing but a body that makes movements when it hears a shout!” (Ch 8)
“‘You make me so spiritual!’ he lamented. ‘And I don't want to be spiritual.’” (Ch 8)
“Recklessness is almost a man's revenge on his woman. He feels he is not valued, so will risk destroying himself to deprive her altogether.” (Ch 8)
“Miriam was the threshing-floor on which he threshed out all his beliefs. While he trampled his ideas upon her soul, the truth came out for him. She alone was his threshing-floor. She alone helped him towards realization.” (Ch 9)
“The difference between people isn't in their class, but in themselves. Only from the middle classes one gets ideas, and from the common people - life itself, warmth. You feel their hates and loves.” (Ch 10)
“So long as life's full, it doesn't matter whether it's happy or not. I'm afraid your happiness would bore me.” (Ch 10)
“She's for ever on that ‘igh horse of hers, an’ its back’s that thin and starved it'll cut her i’ two one of these days.” (Ch 10)
“She relinquished herself to him, but it was a sacrifice in which she felt something of horror. This thick-voiced, oblivious man was a stranger to her.” (Ch 11): Miriam surrenders her virginity to Paul.
“And afterwards he loved her - loved her to the last fibre of his being. He loved her. But he wanted, somehow, to cry. There was something he could not bear for her sake.” (Ch 11)
“He knew he had landed her in a nasty hole, and was leaving her in the lurch. It angered him. ... He sat silent in bitterness. At last the whole affair appeared in a cynical aspect to him. She had really played with him, not he with her. She had hidden all her condemnation from him, had flattered him, and despised him. She despised him now. He grew intellectual and cruel. ... He sat in silence. He was full of a feeling that she had deceived him. She had despised him when he thought she worshipped him. She had let him say wrong things, and had not contradicted him. She had let him fight alone. But it stuck in his throat that she had despised him whilst he thought she worshipped him. She should have told him when she found fault with him. She had not played fair. He hated her. ... His heart was hard against her.” (Ch 11)
“He loved to paint large figures, full of light, but not merely made up of lights and cast shadows, like the impressionists.” (Ch 12)
“If a woman's got nothing but her fair fame to feed on, why, it's thin tack, and a donkey would die of it!” (Ch 12)
“Miriam ... saw what he was seeking - a sort of baptism of fire in passion, it seemed to her. She realized that he would never be satisfied till he had it. Perhaps it was essential to him, as to some men, to sow wild oats; and afterwards, when he was satisfied, he would not rage with restlessness anymore, but could settle down and give her his life into her hands. Well then, if he must go, let him go and have his fill - something big and intense, he called it. At any rate, when he had got it, he would not want it, that he said himself; he would not want the other thing that she could give him. He would want to be owned, so that he could work. It seemed to her a bitter thing that he must go, but she could let him go into an inn for a glass of whisky, so she could let him go to Clara, so long as it was something that would satisfy a need in him, and leave him free for herself to possess.” (C 12)
Clara’s view of Paul at the end: “He looked paltry and insignificant. There was nothing stable about him. Her husband had more manly dignity. At any rate he did not waft about with the wind. There was something evanescent about Morel, she thought, something shifting and false. He would never make sure ground for any woman to stand on.” (Ch 14)

Notes:

Mrs Morrel's ancestors are said to have “fought with Colonel Hutchinson” (Ch 1); he was an MP and Army officer fighting for Parliament during the English Civil War; he also signed the death warrant of Charles I.
Billy Pillins, really Billy Phillips, will later be mentioned in The Rainbow as a school mate of Ursula. (Ch 4)
The young Miriam is a fan of the novels of Sir Walter Scott, among her heroes are the “Rowenas, Brian de Bois-Guilberts, Rob Roys and Guy Mannerings.” (Ch 7) The first two appear in Ivanhoe, the second pair are the eponymous heroes of their own novels.
One of Annie’s boyfriends is Jim Inger (Ch 7); Winifred Inger is the name of Ursula’s lesbian lover in The Rainbow.
They holiday in Mablethorpe which is on the Lincolnshire coast slightly north of Skegness. My great aunt and uncle were from Nottingham and had retired to a little house in Mablethorpe.
When they are on holiday they go to the “Coons”. This is presumably a blackface minstrel show. These are nowadays condemned as racist and the word ‘coon’ is racially offensive.
In chapter 12, Paul and Clara dress up posh to go to the Theatre Royal in Nottingham to see La Dame aux Camelias, starring Sarah Bernhardt; this is a play (on which the opera La Traviata was based) about a courtesan.

It's more focused than The Rainbow, and easier to read. The characters are complex, each one being torn by opposite emotions. Assuming that Paul, the hero, is a portrait of the artist, this is a searingly honest portrayal, showing Paul as hugely damaged by his mother but also showing him as a bit of a shit, exploiting both his girlfriends.

September 2026; 491 pages

First published in 1913 by Heinemann in an edition edited by Edward Garnett who made many cuts. An unredacted text was not published until the 1992 Cambridge University Press edition.

My edition was published by Random House in 1936 and was therefore the redacted version.