"The Thursday Murder Club" by Richard Osman

A group of old folk living in a retirement village set up a club to solve old murders ... then a murder takes place on their doorstep. Using the skills they have developed over a variety of interesting careers, they team up with a pair of unlikely detectives (police procedural this isn't) to find out whodunnit. 

Although I found the solution somewhat confusing and less than convincing, I adored the characters and the dialogues. Osman has a real gift for writing scenes in which the interruptions to the story are as much fun as the story itself: a sort of Tristram Shandy or Road Kill but much more controlled so that the diversions don't actually take over the story.

The chapters are extremely short, on average less than three pages each, which enhances the readability.

It's written from the third person perspective of a number of characters (I counted eleven plus at least one chapter of omniscient narration), in the present tense (and from Joyce's diary in the past tense) so there is a carefully controlled head-hopping. I have argued in the past that having so many characters makes it difficult to create complex three-dimensional characters and Osman doesn't really try to do this. Perhaps the most interesting characters are Joyce who uses her diary to address the reader directly (using 'you' and asking questions) and Chris, the policeman with a weight problem. The other characters are 'Mary Sue's', too-good-to-be-true, such as Bogdan, a builder who can turn his hand at anything (and plays brilliant chess), and Elizabeth, the ex-spy who can use her contacts to find out anything at any time. Even Joyce whose only superpowers are negotiating skills and being underestimated, has a daughter who is a financial genius. I live in a retirement complex and, believe me, the other inmates are very ordinary. 

Classic murder mysteries of the old school are very clear about right and wrong. Classic spy stories such as those by le Carre have an overwhelming atmosphere of moral ambiguity. This book treads a middle line. From the start , the reader is enlisted on the side of the (amateur and professional) detectives; this distinction is reinforced by making the baddies very bad indeed. So bad that they deserve to die; so bad that their killers are portrayed as having done something that is fundamentally decent. Meanwhile the goodies employ a lot of shortcuts to get at the truth ... but presumably the end is held to justify the means. Furthermore, a surprising number of the more minor characters perform actions that are both criminal and immoral but they get away with it because they are lovable rogues. It's an interesting message.

Characterisation is achieved by plucking at stereotypes. Ibrahim is an ex-psychiatrist quite a long way down the autistic spectrum, precise and pernickety and into IT (one wonders how he empathised with many of his ex-patients). Ron is the combative ex-trades union leader. Ian Ventham is an utterly despicable businessman. These are neo-Dickensian caricatures, as flat as they come. And, like Dickens, Osman mostly gets away with it using humour. There are some genuinely funny moments and it is because the reader is enjoying themselves that they are prepared to suspend their disbelief for the duration of the ride.

But fundamentally this is an utterly implausible whimsy. 

There are moments when Osman snatches at verisimilitude, such as the description of the location of the retirement village which is very precise and Joyce's repeated references, in her diary, to real TV shows, whereby Osman taps into the shared present-day British cultural heritage.

But the Guardian hits the nail on the head when it describes the book as 'pure escapism'.

Nevertheless, it is enjoyable, structured as well as the best murder mysteries, and very easy to read.

Selected quotes

• "For over a hundred years the convent was a hushed building, filled with the dry bustle of habits and the quiet certainty of prayers offered and answered." (Ch 3)
• "The residents like to use the chapel. This is where the ghosts are, where the habits still bustle and where the whispers have sunk into the stone." (Ch 3) I was interested to see that Osman chose to use the words 'bustle' and 'habits' together on two consecutive pages.
• "Reading police files in the certain knowledge that the police are lying to you is surprisingly effective." (Ch 4)
• "After a certain age, you can pretty much do whatever you fancy. No one tells you off, except for your doctors and your children." (Ch 4)
• "I would never have therapy, because who wants to unravel all that knitting?" (Ch 4)
• "Many years ago, everybody here would wake early because there was a lot to do and only so many hours in the day. Now they wake early because there is a lot to do and only so many days left." (Ch 11)
• "Everyone calms down through me. Quiet, sensible, Joyce. There is no more shouting and the problem is fixed, more often than not in a way that advantages me. Which is something no one ever seems to notice." (Ch 20)
• "You always know when it's your first time, don't you? But you rarely know when it's your final time." (Ch 23) I have come across the same sentiment recently in another book.
• "In life you have to learn to count the good days. You have to tuck them in your pocket and carry them around with you." (Ch 23) 
• "No kneeling for him these days, arthritis and Catholicism being an uneasy mix." (Ch 30)
• "People without a sense of humour will never forgive you for being funny." (Ch 49)
• "She taps a page of her notepad with her pen, like a conductor giving notice to her orchestra." (Ch 58)
• "If he opened his window he could hear the sea, but couldn't see it. Didn't that just sum it up?" (Ch 78)
• "This house and me have grown old together. Roof coming off ... Things creak that didn't use to creak. Dodgy plumbing." (Ch 91)
• "I can keep my secrets to myself, right up until the time that someone asks me about them." (Ch 98)
• "You can have too much choice in this world. And when everyone has too much choice, it is also much harder to get chosen. And we all want to be chosen." (Ch 103)

March 2022, rewritten Nov 2023; 377 pages

This review was written by the author of Bally and Bro, Motherdarling  and The Kids of God